COMMENTS
Hi Debbie,
This is a huge issue for me! Breastfeeding was traumatizing for me as well, but not because of a lack of supply (I had too much!), but because of our painful battle with thrush. No matter what I tried, nothing seemed to keep it away. It hurt so bad to feed him that I dreaded it each time. By the time he was 10 months old, I had to quit. Having to supplement because I could not figure out how to better our condition was very emotionally and mentally painful, but I could not take the physical pain any more.
There does need to be more support for mothers while breastfeeding, and less judgment as well for those who can't, in my opinion. Thanks so much for your blog; I love the information you provide!
Jen
Breastfeeding, or I should say our inability to get it right was very traumatizing for me. Even more traumatizing, was the pediatricians who belittled me and made me feel as if I was doing absolutely the wrong thing by continuing to try. As you know, I worked with two amazing lactation consultants, and had incredible support from my husband, and the rest of my family. With their help, I was able to push through the trauma and pump enough milk for my daughter to be exclusively fed breast milk from a bottle. After a switch to a completely supportive pediatrician, we were able to finally make it work and to this day, 18 months later, my daughter still loves her "two milkies!".
Have I gotten over the trauma? I don't know. But I do know I've made it past it and am able to enjoy every second of breastfeeding. Thank you Debbie, Madeline, Mom, DH, Family, and Dr.L, and all the mother's at The New Born Baby Bistro. Without all of you, I can't say that we would have made it!
I *absolutely* believe that breastfeeding can be traumatic. It was so traumatizing for me that I have no desire to breastfeed my second child. It was only after I started formula/bottle feeding my son that I learned what it truly meant to enjoy feeding your child. I understand that that may not be the case for everyone, but I agree with the above poster who said that there needs to be less judgment for mothers who formula feed.
How awful is to know there are so many doctors doing this, here, like in Italy like in the Uk or Usa. I had a traumatizing start as they gave water and sugar to my baby and artificial milk even thoug I said not to when he was born, I could not check on them as I had been cut open so to speak, for no reason that too, mine is one of many stories.So when they brought me my baby in the morning and I tried to feed him that day he was constantly hungry and my little colostrum was not filling hi already enlarged stomach and I was very sad, frantic and frustrated but never gave up even days later when at the check they told me he had not grown enough and tried to give me formula I went to a "consultorio" where women are helped with many things and there I found correct infos and help and as I said already i'm still bf and he's now 20 m.o.
I believe behind it all (the belittleing us and making us believe we're not capable and such) there are formula multinationals. We could only beat them if proper education was given since school. After all this being a matter related to human specie's survival it should be considered as important as, if not more than, any subject and it should be made a must study subject. Then the future would have only well prepared women and more confident mothers.
I would like to comment on the health care professionals out there. I feel very blessed that the dr.'s I've come into contact with when my middle child wasn't eating were FANTASTIC!!! My pedi said to supplement AFTER I breastfed with breastmilk, she never said I HAVE to use formula..however, when she went on a maternity leave, her covering dr said I should NEVER use breastmilk with the baby cereal, ONLY formula...I just nodded my head, said "ok" but went home and NEVER used formula LOL. THEN I also had to see a GI specialist who knew breastmilk was the best thing I could do for her at this time in her life...he was very supportive BUT I had I come into contact with a dr who was saying NO BREASTFEEDING ...I would have lost it completely and who knows if I would have kept up the nursing (pumping). When all is said and done, you have to do what feels right to you and to your child, and realize that doctors are just "practicing" medicine and are still learning on a daily basis...
Yes! It can be traumatizing because breastfeeding is NOT easy. It definitely is not easy when you are in a hospital that disempowers mothers the second they walk through the door. I had to be on a fetal monitor, was forced to stay in bed, had to wear these creepy leggings that held my legs to the end of the bed, and eventually had to have cesarean. Though I was able to nurse my son within the first hour of his precious life, he was taken from me so I could rest. While "resting," they gave him formula, then sugar water and the struggles began. My little peanut was confused and so was I. When the first lactation consultant came in, she was with a flock of nursing interns, one of whom threw out my pumped colostrum! My whole birthing experience was traumatizing, never mind nursing. I was finally successful when I was in my slippers and bathrobe, safe on my couch. It was at home where my son and I had the privacy to successfully figure out our sip, sip situation. Though he is still a little peanut, he is a healthy, happy, really cool peanut who LOVES his sip, sips!
Such great comments from the most amazing mothers. How can we help new moms through the first month and hopefully keep them from being traumatized-- my lifelong desire.
Answer: They have to find people like you!!! No offense but I didn't even go to a breastfeeding class prior to labor (for my first). I thought "it's natural, it should come/be natural" HOWEVER I didn't realize all the speed bumps along the way. My Pedi actually recommended a lactation consultant and gave me a list of some near by. YOUR name was on it, Debbie, and that's how I found you AND all the support!!! YOU ROCK!
I didn't understand how hard breastfeeding was going to be. When my baby was born I didn't have enough support. I got different advice from every nurse and doctor we saw and didn't know who to follow. I was tired and thought I was failing. Eventually formula took over.
However after my second child I got my support in place before the birth. I followed Debbie's advice and with her support we did it. I would not have made it without the support. Breastfeeding really does get easier. At least it did for me. I'm almost to month nine.
I just had my baby niki on tuesday night march 9th...and i tell you what...i have an entirely new understanding on why women give up breastfeeding right away and why they would do so.
I prepared pretty damn well for breastfeeding i feel...took a breastfeeding class, read numerous books, researched and watched internet videos...and still, after i had that baby and i tried positioning her to breastfeed...i realized quickly that i had no IDEA what i was doing!! She wasn't seeming to get on their right...i certainly couldn't figure out how to get her to latch on there correctly let alone how to even position her to latch on there correctly!! The nurses in the hospital were of absolutely zero help...if anything i would say they were negative help...in general the nurses were all in support of my breastfeeding...but none of them could take the time to really help me, and even the minimal amount of time they did spend helping...they did all the things that i have heard and read that you 'shouldn't do'...like just stick the baby right on the breast wham bam thank you maam...'try the cradle hold' 'try the football hold'...and the nurse would just stick the baby on there in their little named position and then tell me if i need any more help to just give them a call...not thinking that maybe they should stick around a few minutes in case this latch doesn't work or she moves out of position!
I wasn't able to meet with the staff lactation consultant until 4pm the next day after the birth...so from her birth (all night the night she was born and all day the next day) i tried kinda fruitlessly to breastfeed every 3 hours...even though it kinda hurt...a lot...and even though i was not sure if i was doing it right...at all...had no idea.
If i didn't insist on meeting with the lactation consultant...i have no idea where i would be right now (4 days later) and how much nipple agony i would be in! haha!
That lactation consultant at Emerson Hospital was the absolute best help i could have possibly had regarding all aspects of my childbirth experience.
Shew came and stayed with me for at least an hour the day after she was born showing me how to get her to latch on correctly...how to listen to make sure she is swallowing...how to position her...etc....and we got in probably the first good feeding. Then after she leaves...at the next feeding...when i am all alone again...i realize i STILL do not know what i am doing! I am trying to do what she told me with the latch...but i can't position the baby correctly or comfortably...then when i do finally get her into position...i am not sure at all if i hear swallowing...if the pain i am feeling is 'ok'...etc. So the lactation consultant came the next morning 8am to help me again...stayed with me another hour plus...teaching me exponentially more the second time around...and finally...after she came the third time about 6 hours later and stayed for ANOTHER entire round of feeding did i finally have the confidence and feel i had the knowhow to really go home and do this on my own! It literally took me at least 4+ hours of one on one training with the LC before i felt even mildly confident...and again....i thought i prepared for this breastfeeding thing like i could do it second nature! ha!
So...here i am on day 4 of baby's life and i think i have this thing down FAIRLY WELL...but where would i be if i had not had that wonderfully incredibly supportive LC to assist me? I'd probably suffer the fate of most formula feeding mother's who have been communicating with me the past 4 days with questions and comments such as..."are your nipples bleeding yet? they will....they will crack and bleed..."...."my nipples hurt so much i wanted to cut them off"..."i tried breastfeeding but my breasts just couldn't do it"
I used to think formula feeding mother were kinda lazy and too afraid of the taboo of breastfeeding..but now i realize that a lot of them tried...but had ZERO support or knowledge on what they were doing wrong and how to do it right...for these women i can clearly see the trauma...and can totally understand now why they would give it up
Hi Debbie. A great questions with loads of responses. We, my sister and I, definitely found breastfeeding traumatic. Especially in the first couple of weeks when our breasts were so painful: engorged, bleeding and blistered! And that is exactly why we created the Shower Hug. To help address the pain and discomfort so that mom can focus on the task at hand. Successfully feeding her newest little blessing. Here's to all of you "belmama's." If you are currently breastfeeding, or hoping to attempt breastfeeding with more success on a second child, I encourage you to check out the Shower Hug.
www.showerhug.com. We have many helpful testimonials and reviews. Come on over and take a look for yourself.