When I meet with clients for the first time, it's becoming almost predictable which ones will most likely reach their breastfeeding goals. The questions they ask, the responses to my questions and the questions of their support persons all give glimpses into the probability of their breastfeeding duration. Women that understand breastfeeding realize that it is about connections, not rules.
Breastfeeding is about having others around you to encourage you and "keep you going." One mother I know has no one to support her efforts, but she is determined to find other breastfeeding mothers to hang out with. An enthusiasm to connect with others means a much higher success rate. One client has to push hard against her husband's and in-laws' comments about her baby eating too frequently. She is staying in close contact with those that understand breastfeeding babies.
We started our moms and babies groups last fall and I have been amazed to see the increase in breastfeeding duration as a result. It's the mothers encouraging the new mothers to persevere. One of our mothers has taken upon herself to call or message every mother new to the group. Because she struggled for the first few months, she knows how to empathize with others. Befriending mothers helps ease them into this new life with their breastfeeding baby.
Without support and frequent contact with other breastfeeding mothers, breastfeeding in the western world is lonely and isolating. For some it is impossible.
For those of you that pressed on with no one to help you, please tell me your story. And for those who looked to other women for your mainstay, I want to hear how you found support.
People encouraging other people...that's breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is meant to be social. Are you connecting with other breastfeeding women?
Debbie Page
Today's brave new world has an easy platform. YouTube makes it simple to share thoughts, humor, expertise, and well anything you want for that matter. Simply record it, download it and let the world watch.
This video is likely controversial, but, hey, it may convince some that breasts can make milk and plenty of it. For many, it will be the first time they've ever seen breast milk and certainly the first time they have ever seen it coming directly from a breast. I think it's hilarious, well at least for those of us who have or are breastfeeding. My mom? Hmm...don't think she will see any humor at all in it.
Watch it, laugh, pay attention to the faces of the recipients and tell me your thoughts. Who knows what impact it will have on those who watch it. Anyone know what country this was filmed in?
I have had some fascinating conversations with mothers of new babies this week. These conversations plus comments to last week's blog, Who Really Influences a Woman's Success at Breastfeeding, provided some interesting insights into the messages today's new mothers are hearing. Some are direct messages from advertising. Others are messages from friends and family members. And yet others are from doctors and nurses. Here's one of them.
"I'm not making enough milk."
Why? I asked.
That's all right, I answered. That doesn't tell us anything about your milk supply, only your anatomy. Some women leak and others simply do not.
- "But everything I read and heard told me I would need lots of because breasts leak."
For days this mother worried that her baby wasn't getting enough to eat based on this message. But this baby drinks like a champ and has the infamous look of a drunken soldier when done. She is getting plenty to eat!
- "Everyone told me my breasts would be hard and engorged. My breasts have not felt like that at all. I must not be making any milk."
The reason you have not experienced engorgement is because your baby is feeding so well. She's emptying the breasts every 1 1/2-3 hours. Your breasts do not have time to get engorged. This is the norm, not the other way around.
- "I haven't needed to pump. Doesn't that mean I'm not making milk?"
Again, this is because your baby is feeding so well. She is doing a great job emptying your breasts. This is what babies are suppose to do.
This mother said that if she had not sought out help would have given up breastfeeding. She was so worried she couldn't see how well her baby was doing.
Most of us have probably had something similar happen to us. What messages did you get that made you doubt your ability to breastfeed?