Blogging for Babies, Breastfeeding and Mothers

So many stories are pouring in. Women around the world want to tell their stories and they are so appreciative of others sharing theirs. Each breastfeeding relationship is unique and changes with each baby you have. It is amazing how different babies are and how we change we each one. I like to think of baseball. Each game is different, even with the same players. Many variables factor into wins and losses. Thank you to all who want me to tell their story.

Today's story didn't have the positive outcome with the first two babies we all hope for. This mother came to see me while still pregnant. She had a very difficult time breastfeeding her first child due to severe engorgement and mastitis.

She was told to pump after every feeding while still in the hospital because of her engorgement. She was quickly pumping  8-10 ounces with each session. Her breasts were abundant producers. Her husband, thinking himself funny, called her a cow. Not exactly something any woman wants to hear and especially not right after having a baby. 

Every time  she tried to stop pumping, her breasts filled quickly, she was engorged and felt she had to pump- a vicious cycle. Before long she developed mastitis. In a few weeks she developed mastitis again. This time she she said, "enough is enough."

We talked about ways to manage her milk production during the prenatal visit. She left with a plan to call me after the baby was born. Second baby arrives and even though she did not pump, her breasts became engorged. The baby drank well, transferring three ounces of milk on day three! I saw her several times in the first week. She was managing her abundant milk production well, though it wasn't easy.

Late on a Friday night the call came in. In those early days of my private practice, I always answered the phone, even at night. She had fever, chills, flu-like symptoms: mastitis. She got through the first bout and breastfeeding was going well. Her milk production was decreasing and manageable.

One week later mastitis occurred again. She was feeling very discouraged. At her baby's two week check-up, she mentioned to the healthcare provider that she had had mastitis twice. She was advised to give up breastfeeding. "Why do you want to do this to yourself?" she was asked. "The new formulas are just as good, if not better than breastmilk." She called to tell me she had decided to give up breastfeeding. "When I learned that the new formulas are so fantastic, it didn't make sense for me to continue." She felt sad, but comforted in her false knowledge.

Next comes baby number three. She had had a lot of time to think about breastfeeding. She had done extensive research and now understood that formula can never match breastmilk. It does a decent job of matching the nutrition, but breastmilk is only 10% nutrition. With a better understanding of how to manage an over abundance of milk, as well as her determination to make it work, she "conquered" breastfeeding. Two strikes and a home run!

• Anybody else have a similar situation with milk production?

• Did anyone have a healthcare professional tell you that formula is just as good as breastmilk?
  

 Debbie

And as always,

Our mothers are amazing and our babies are awesome.

P.S. Some women never produce all the milk their baby needs. Please know that my heart goes out to you. Whenever possible supplement with donor milk. And know that with each baby the breasts recalibrate. You may produce all the milk your 2nd or 3rd baby needs.

Isn't this a great picture? Imaging getting three babies ready for the snow.

After the last story, comments have been pouring in. Everyone seems to love reading stories about other women's trials and successes with breastfeeding. This mother of triplets updated me on how things are going for her. She is happy to share this with you.

Hi Debbie,

 

I just wanted to tell you how much I've enjoyed reading your stories. I love the perseverance of all the women you worked with, and how hard you work to help your clients meet their goals. It makes me so wish that the feeding at the breast had worked out for us. But I am still so happy and proud to still be pumping and giving them each about 6 ounces per day, I just wish it could be more and at the breast. Thank-you so much for helping me get where I am, I am not sure I'd still be pumping without your help in that rocky beginning. The boys have only had one mild cold this winter so I think the antibodies are helping them.

What commitment. What belief in the power of breastmilk. She deserves a gold medal. Her boys are now eight months old. Aren't they gorgeous?

Every ounce of breastmilk is like money in the bank for your child's health. Give as much as you can for as long as you can.

Never underestimate the power of breastmilk!

Did you nurse twins? Triplets?

Let us hear from you.

Debbie

And as always, our mothers are amazing and our babies are awesome.

#1 of My Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant

How hard it is to narrow down my favorite moment. As I have reflected over my 12 years working as a lactation consultant, I have been moved by one story after another. But this story resonates in my mind, so here goes.

The plea from this mother came on Friday evening of Labor Day weekend while I was at the lake- a desperate call as this baby was not latching at all. I wanted badly to drive the two and a half hours home to see her, but my children were joining us for the weekend. Instead I asked my colleague Madeline to see her.

Many times the mother has described this first visit to other mothers. She was put at ease immediately. The baby still did not breastfeed, but Madeline got her started pumping. This baby had had a very traumatic beginning to life in the hospital and little bonding had taken place up to this point. Madeline had the mother and baby initiate Kangaroo Mother Care. Between Madeline and myself we talked to this mother several times a day until I was able to see her on Tuesday.

I will never forget this visit. The mother's mother came showing incredible support for her daughter. She had breastfed her three children and wanted to help her daughter in any way she could. Many visits together and daily phone calls as we waited for this little girl to start breastfeeding. 

As Madeline and I talked, we decided we needed a support group for this mother. So one rainy day in November (the baby was still not breastfeeding) we had our first group- the mother and baby, Madeline and I all sat together on the floor. The friendship as well as the group blossomed.

Four long months the mother pumped for her baby. The baby never got a drop of formula as her milk production was fabulous, but she wanted desperately to breastfeed. The mother continued to try every day to no avail. And then one morning it happened. The baby just got it- she started breastfeeding. Shouts of joy and hallelujahs could probably be heard around the block.

There has been no stopping this baby. At eight months she still had no real interest in food; she would sign for milk when presented with a spoon of anything mom tried. At 18 months she continues to love her 'milkies'.

This baby has changed her mother's life like all babies. But the ending of this story is different. She has changed her mother's life views and ambitions. Every week this mom faithfully offers counsel and support to other mothers struggling to make breastfeeding work. She is pursuing the path of lactation consulting. What a fabulous addition to the breastfeeding world.

• Did your baby have difficulty with breastfeeding?
• Did you choose to pump exclusively?
• How many weeks or months did you pump?
• Share your story with us.

My Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant: #2

In my early days as a lactation consultant, when I was just learning to tell people that they needed a consultation instead of trying to handle things over the phone, this call came in.

"Hello, my name is _______. I am having some problems with breastfeeding."

"Tell me a little about what is going on," I asked.

"Well, my baby is 3 months old and I am having some nipple tenderness."

I suggested she make an appointment to see me.

"I have been working with a lactation consultant for six weeks, but I am happy to  see you," she said.

We began our visit as usual with me gathering information. "A little tenderness," she reiterated. Her baby was gaining weight well so no problems with her milk production.

Next came an examination of her breasts and nipples. I am sure my jaw dropped when I looked at her nipples. Literally, she was missing part of each nipple. "A little tenderness?" I asked in dismay. She started crying. The pain was off the scale. Nobody had looked at her nipples in 6 or more weeks. She couldn't remember. Her 'visits' had been on the telephone.

This was a huge wake up call to me: breastfeeding problems can not be handled without actually observing the client and her baby. My co-worker Dianna likes to tell people that we are not fortune tellers. We need to see what is happening.

This plan obviously involved taking time off from direct breastfeeding to allow for nipple healing. She had a hospital grade pump and was already pumping some. She would now start pumping for every feeding and feeding her milk via bottle. She was so relieved. Somebody had given her permission to not breastfeed. She cried a lot during that visit. How could she not. I had her send me daily pictures of her nipples so I could monitor the healing. Over time they healed.

This woman was amazing. She pumped for three months! At six months she tried breastfeeding again. No pain! She went on to successfully and joyfully breastfeed until her baby was 18 months old. She said she probably could have resumed breastfeeding earlier, but she was too afraid. I wonder why.

• Did you have any nipple pain?
• Were you told that pain is normal in the beginning?
• Did anyone try to solve your breastfeeding problems over the phone? 

I have many stories similar to this. And I am sure, if you live in America, you have heard some pretty awful stories yourself. I'd love to hear from you.

Debbie

My Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant: #3

A big dose of determination carries you far when breastfeeding, but is it enough when the going gets rough? Especially when it's rough from the beginning? Many women decide to breastfeed even before they get pregnant. But not everybody. Some make the decision after they deliver. So who's more successful at reaching their breastfeeding goals? Here's one of my favorite stories.

I first made a home visit to this mother 5 weeks after my hip surgery. I remember it well because the surgeon had given me strict instructions not to climb stairs or do any home visits for at least 6 weeks. But the call was urgent and she was a alone with no one to drive her. She was all alone with her baby. I'll be careful, so I thought. Well I'm laughing as I'm writing. I arrive at the destination only to realize that she lived in an apartment complex. I live in central Massachusetts, so I don't go to many apartment complexes. I glanced down at her address: 3 something. Humm... I mused. I wonder if 3 means 3rd floor. Well it did. I looked but there was no elevator. And these floors were tall and the stairs were many and concrete. Oh my gosh, I didn't know if I could climb them with my fresh hip, a 14 pound scale, and a bag full of tricks. But I managed. And wouldn't you know that I left something in the car that I had to go back for. Oh Ha!

This mother tells me her plan is to breastfeed for 3 weeks. "That's fine," I said. I spent over two hours with her, came up with a plan and scheduled the follow-up visit. This mom had a lot of work to do. Let her nipples heal, start getting more milk out of her breasts to increase her production, feed her baby more frequently and get in touch with the doctor I recommended to her.

• With a great deal of effort and determination, she made the three week mark. She decided she had worked too hard to stop.
  

• She made it to six weeks and again she felt she had invested too much to quit.

• At three months she returned to work full time but kept on going.
  

• Six months, still going. Sound like the Energizer Bunny?
  

• 12 months

• 18 months

• 24 months still going strong. The more she and her baby breastfed, the more they both loved it. She had completely shocked herself. The last I spoke with her, the baby, now toddler, was still breastfeeding. That's been awhile and I'd love an update. I'll email her this weekend.

• How much did determination played into your breasteeding story?

• What about someone else's determination?

#4 of My Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant

Babies are born to breastfeed.

Every living creature has survival skills. First we breathe and then we eat. Even babies. But what happens when a baby won't breastfeed? And why does this happen? There are different reasons a baby will not breastfeed. Often times it has to do with the baby's natural feeding sequence getting interrupted at birth. This is one of the major causes of breastfeeding failure. If baby is put on the breast by someone else (as opposed to finding and grasping the breast on her own), she may not learn to drop her jaw and take a nice big 'bite' of the breast. This can lead to nipple pain and damage, weight loss or low weight gain, formula supplementation and bottles, and low milk production. These all contribute to a baby not breastfeeding well or at all.

A couple of years ago, a lovely mother and baby came in for a visit. Mom was in excruciating pain. She simply could not continue to breastfeed. We worked out a plan for her to pump and bottle feed. This baby had a posterior tongue tie, but she had also been 'put' on the breast for her first feeding and every feeding had been a struggle. Mom and dad decided to drive the three and a half hours to Long Island to have Dr. Betty Coryllos divide the tie.

He nipples healed and she began trying to get the baby to breastfeed again. The baby had other ideas. She was getting plenty of milk from the bottle and she was not interested. Mom worked and worked to no avail. I suggested that she come to the office again for us to try together. She came, but baby did not latch. I asked if she would come back the next day which meant driving another hour each way. She did. Baby did not latch. She came back the next day and finally the baby latched, though not perfectly and not for long. She came back the next day and the baby breastfed. Still it was not perfect, but at least the baby was feeding at the breast. Mother was elated. I was thrilled. I mean, really, really thrilled. Why did she latch? Mom was patient and gentle and talked with her baby about what she wanted her to do, but it was the baby that just got it this time.

This baby went on to breastfeed for many months. Unfortunately, mother never got a completely comfortable latch. I wish I had known then what I know now about babies. But for this mother she was much happier with a less than perfect latch than with no breastfeeding at all. I've lost touch with her, but I've wondered if she has had another baby and if so, did she breastfeed?

• Does this story sound familiar to you? 
• Did you have a completely pain free latch from the beginning?

Your comments are so encouraging to other moms that have or may be struggling. Thank you for sharing.

Debbie

My Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant: #5 

Everybody loves babies and everyone loves parties. So what happens when a group of mothers throw a party for The New Born Baby Bistro? Fun, laughter, balloons and great food. Oh...and lots of pictures by Stephanie's sister. Wow! What a great party.

It all happened in December when the Bistro turned ONE. Stephanie and Siobhan decided we needed to celebrate. They invited the moms in the Bistro to come and enjoy. Many moms and babies came- some I had not seen in some time. There were beautiful pink and green balloons, babies of all sizes and gorgeous cupcakes. Thanks to Siobhan for her handiwork- she created beautiful pink and white flowers for each cupcake. Yummm. There was more food than we could eat.

How amazing to see so many mothers- many of whom had some real challenges with breastfeeding- with their fabulous babies, talking and laughing and eating. A good time was had by all.

And me? What a celebration. What energy. Surrounded by "my mothers and babies"! Nothing makes me happier.

• Do you have a group of moms and babies you hang out with?
• How did you meet?
• How do you celebrate?

My Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant: #6

Why do people choose the profession of lactation consultant? I probably chose it because of the difficulty I had breastfeeding my own children. There was no one that understood breastfeeding problems. My first child did not gain weight well even though I was producing plenty of milk. I didn't know about feeding babies on demand. Instead I was scheduling him like my friends and doctor suggested. Every morning I was waking with very engorged breasts. Why didn't I have the common sense to feed him more frequently? Duh! Post partum brain syndrome? Lack of lactation knowledge for sure. I was told to supplement him with formula and down the slippery slope we slid.

Well that's enough about me. I want to tell the story of a dear woman that called me for a home visit with her first baby. She was like most new moms experiencing breastfeeding difficulties: teary, exhausted, frustrated, discouraged and suffering with severe nipple pain. I suggested she lie back and put her baby on her bare chest. She immediately melted into tears of joy. I witnessed her letting go of seventy two hours of distress and weariness and falling in love with her tiny newborn. After she was feeling pretty good about letting him latch, we went upstairs to her bedroom for her to lie down. When her little boy latched right on and started to feed, her face lit up with ecstasy. She looked up at me with beautiful eyes wet from tears and said, "I want to be a lactation consultant. I want to do for other mothers what you have done for me."

Just writing about this brings joy to me as I remember her face gazing up into mine with such pureness and innocence. Yes, I thought, you will help other mothers like I do. You may not become a lactation consultant, but you will do everything you can to help other mothers breastfeed.

I just had the pleasure of seeing her again two and a half years later, this time with her second baby. Breastfeeding has been a breeze this time. And I have heard her talking with and supporting other mothers at our Bistro. She is a "lactation consultant".

• Do you remember when something like this happened to you?  
• How has breastfeeding changed your life?
• Did you ever expect to be helping other mothers breastfeed?

Thanks for the great comments and emails. You keep me going!

Debbie

My Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant: #7

More doctors are joining the band wagon of breastfeeding and I am thrilled. When I first moved to Massachusetts, there did not seem to be much breastfeeding support for the clients I was seeing. The solution they were told by insurance companies and health care professionals alike, when struggling with breastfeeding, was to give the baby formula. Many a mother sat in my office crying. They felt discouraged and defeated. A dinosaur living in the 21st century.

I can't remember exactly how many years ago it was that the first local pediatrician called me about one of his patients. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't wait to share this with my lactation colleagues in my Yahoo group. He really valued my expertise. More importantly he valued his patient's desire to breastfeed. The referral coming straight from the doctor boosted the parents' trust in him as well as in me. This was simply fabulous!

Since that time, this same pediatrician has referred numerous mothers and babies to my office for consultations. He believes in the importance of breastmilk for all babies. I have observed how clients coming from this pediatrician have a very high rate of reaching their breastfeeding goals. It makes such a difference to have the support of your doctor. Every month more pediatricians and family practice doctors recommend to their patients that they work with me. It is thrilling for me to see the tide turning.

I recently listened to a lecture by a pediatrician at a lactation conference. He was talking about his Pediatrics' residency in the 1970's. He learned nothing about breastfeeding. It was not a part of the curriculum. His comment was that you don't teach what you don't value. How true! How sad! We reached an all time low of a 22% breastfeeding initiation rate in the US in 1972- the same year I started nursing school. 38 years later, we are still not where we should be in regards to breastfeeding knowledge, but we are making progress. Breastfeeding is now being taught in many of the hospitals. This is great news for babies and mothers.

• Did your doctor truly support your decision to breastfeed? 
• What happened when you started having problems? 
• What was the first solution? 
• Formula or a lactation consultant? 

Debbie 

Top 10 Favorite Moments as a Lactation Consultant: #8 

During my early years as a lactation consultant, a few changes and most of the breastfeeding problems were solved. Boy was I naive thinking it was all about me! I hate to confess that I would think, "I must be really good." I will never forget when I encountered my first truly challenging situation. Life was about to teach me a major lesson.

I first met this mother when her baby was only two weeks old. The mother was having unbearable pain, but she was determined to breastfeed. I did everything I knew at that time to help her achieve a comfortable latch. Nothing worked. She didn't think she could put the baby to breast for another feed. She did, though. She was amazing. We worked out a plan to help her get through the next 24 hours. I suggested that she read Dr. James McKenna articles on mothers and babies co-sleeping, as she was exhausted.

Over the next few weeks she came in for several consultations. Thank goodness the baby was gaining weight well so we didn't have to worry about that. However, the pain continued. Mom and I talked often for weeks. She would cry on the phone; I would cry off the phone. I felt helpless. But she was not about to give up breastfeeding. This went on for 2 months when finally the pain went away. A very good ending to a very hard beginning!

Fast forward four years. Out of the blue I received one of the most beautiful letters of my lifetime. She wrote to tell me how breastfeeding had truly changed her life. "Those first eight weeks were very hard -- painful and frustrating and discouraging -- and many people told me to just give up." Hanging in there for those long weeks had been worth it all, she said. "Breastfeeding had become as easy as breathing."  She spoke about how co-sleeping had reshaped their thinking as parents. She has now breastfed her two children for two years each. 

I cried as I read her letter. My husband cried as he read it that evening. This is the summation of the trials and tribulations of being a lactation and I LOVE "my mothers and babies!"

What story do you have to tell? Has breastfeeding or co-sleeping changed your life? Please share with us.

Debbie 

 Sleep deprivation. It's brutal. And every new parent, mom and dad alike, suffer from it. Remember?

Well, one afternoon a lovely couple came for a visit. The baby was about 1 week old. We start off the visit in the usual way and mom began pouring out her story. She was exhausted. She had labored for hours and ended up with a c-section. She had hardly slept at all, she didn't think she was making enough milk and she had severe nipple pain.

I helped Mom get comfortable and the baby started feeding. That's when we heard it. Dad snoring. Dad snoring loudly. We looked over to see dad lying all the way back on the bed sound asleep. Mom was horrified. She called to him telling him to wake up!

We continue watching the baby feed and the snoring started again. I'm talking some serious snoring. Mom's telling dad to wake up. Sit up. Pay attention. But it was hopeless. He was gone. He just couldn't stay awake. I think he slept for an hour or more.

Mom and I had a great visit together with lots of laughing. As they were leaving, Dad said, "Well I'm just as tired as you are." Hummm...I mused, as I glanced over at an exasperated, smiling mom shaking her heard in disbelief.

So who is the most tired? And which one remembers the way the story really happened?

Debbie 

10. The day dad called for breastfeeding help.

It's not always easy to reach out to a stranger when you've just had a baby. Everyone is tired, elated, teary and very sleep deprived. You have a beautiful baby that needs you 24 hours a day. But what happens when things are not going as planned? You need HELP!

I loved it when a dad called for help one afternoon. "My wife is having a hard time breastfeeding," he said. "The baby wants to eat all the time. My wife is really tired and she and the baby are crying. She wants to breastfeed, but this is hard. We never realized how difficult this would be. I want to schedule a consultation with you right away. How soon can you see us?" Instead of jumping to "let's just give the baby bottle of formula," he said "let's call the lactation consultant."

I scheduled them to come to the office that evening. It was a bitter cold evening in New England. They bundled the baby up and drove to my office. They sat down, gave a big sigh of relief and, since the baby was sleeping, we started chatting about what was going on. "Tell me about your delivery and the baby's first feeding," I said. As they relaxed, they poured out their concerns and frustrations. By the end of the two hour visit, everyone was happy and feeling more confident. "Honey, it is so great to see you relaxed and smiling. This is so much better than propping you up with tons of pillows and fighting with the baby to get him to latch. You both are much happier." He turned to me and added, " I'll pay you three grand for your help. I can not believe the difference."

Wow! I've said it over and over again. What an amazing man. Did he value breastfeeding this much? Obviously he valued his wife's desires and wanted the very best for her and his baby. 

This story had a great ending. He stood by his wife's side as together they learned what their baby needed and how breastfeeding works. He got creative with ways to help her get sleep and guess what? Breastfeeding is working.

This is truly what breastfeeding is all about: the baby's needs, the mother's needs and the support of other people. Hooray for breastfeeding believers!

• Did you have the support of your husband/partner? 
• Did he value breastfeeding? 
• Did he know how to support and not sabotage breastfeeding?

Let's get a sense of how many dads out there stand up for breastfeeding.

Debbie 

What needs to happen in the United States for breastfeeding to be supported? Breastfeeding in America is like speaking a remote language. People don't understand a thing you are saying. We need breastfeeding reform! It's not just about women getting help, it's about beliefs.

The rate of breastfeeding drop-off is alarming. Based on what we are seeing in the community, very few women are leaving the hospitals exclusively breastfeeding. Many a mother reports being told that their baby needed a bottle of formula. I am even hearing from mothers that lactation consultants and nurses alike are dripping formula on their nipples to get the baby to feed. Arrgghhh!! Why is this happening?

I'll tell you the top three reasons why this is happening:

1. Babies are separated from their mother's chest, which is their natural habitat. This interferes with the baby's natural instincts to feed. It also has an impact on a mother's milk production.
2. People, including many health care professionals, simply do not believe that breastfeeding works. 
3. Many people do not know and/or perhaps don't care to know the truth about breastmilk.
   

It has taken decades to convince people that smoking is harmful. How many decades will it take to convince people that it is harmful for babies not to drink breastmilk?

We've all been duped at some time in our life by advertising and marketers. Do you realize the same influences hves caused us to trust formula and to put it on equal footing with breastmilk?

The United States Breastfeeding Committee is asking for your support by signing a petition for President Obama. "Obviously, more needs to be done to ensure the achievement of our national breastfeeding goals and to create an environment where women and their families can be successful in achieving their personal breastfeeding goals. You have the power to take immediate and concrete action to improve the Nation's health by protecting, promoting, and supporting breastfeeding. We urge you to use your position of leadership and power to set the tone in the federal government to place a high priority on breastfeeding as an essential public health issue."

Sign the petition and add 2 things:

1. Health insurance reimbursement for lactation consultants 
2. Banked milk for adopted babies

What other items do you think we should add?

Together we can change this country's view of breastfeeding. Thanks for signing and thanks for listening.

Debbie