Grandmothers...
Mothers Supporting Mothers

This page is dedicated to helping you support your breastfeeding grandbaby. Why not consider giving your daughter or daughter-in-law a gift certificate for professional lactation services. Would you like to tell us your story of supporting your breastfeeding grand baby?

Congratulations on the birth of your new grandbaby. You play a very special role in the life of your daughter or daughter-in-law and grandbaby. Children bond with their grandparents in a very unique way.

   

Now that your grandchild's mother has decided to breastfeed your new grandbaby you may have many questions, worries and concerns. Perhaps you were never encouraged to breastfeed. No one told you the benefits of breastfeeding. Your children did just fine on formula, but maybe you feel sad that you missed out on this experience. Your grandbaby's mother is giving him the best possible start in life. You need to know why this is true so you can encourage her to breastfeed as long as she desires. We are here to help you understand how breastfeeding works and why it the most incredible gift your daughter/-in-law can give to your grandchild.

• Do you worry that your grandchild is not getting enough to eat?
• Do you worry that your grandchild is not on a regular feeding schedule?
• Do you worry that the relationship between mom and baby is too close?
• Do you worry that you cannot bond with your grandchild if you cannot feed him a bottle?
   

Why does a mother choose to breastfeed?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes that breastfeeding is important for optimal infant and child health and development with advantages for infants, mothers, families, and society.  Some of these advantages include health, nutritional, immunologic, developmental, psychologic, social, economic, and environmental benefits. 

Breastmilk contains all the nutrients a baby needs during the first six months of life and increases the baby's resistance to infection and disease.  Even in hot weather there is no need to give extra drinks; baby will quench his thirst by having more frequent feeds. As the baby grows, the breastmilk changes to match the needs without having to increase in volume. Some breastfeeding babies only drink 2.5-3 ounces at a time even at 5 months old.

Breastfeeding is a new skill, for both mother and baby to learn - don't pressure her, just be there with her and help her gain her confidence as she learns this skill.  Talk with your daughter/in-law about ways in which she would like to be supported by you.  

Your concerns need answers. If you have any concerns about how your grandchild is being fed, don't rush to tell your daughter/in-law what she is doing wrong.  Breastfeeding is a learned skill.  If the mother and baby are having difficulty with breastfeeding, kindly suggest that the mother contact a lactation consultant.

Our Mother Baby consultants can tell you how to know if the baby is getting enough milk, or isn't  gaining enough weight.  They can help you to help your daughter.

How Can You Help?

• HOUSEHOLD CHORES: Offer to help with things around the house, especially in the early weeks. In particular, you can ensure that there is good, nourishing food available in the house by offering to do the food shopping and cooking.   Offer to do some laundry or cleaning.  Cook a meal for the freezer. 

• COMFORT: Offer to make her more comfortable and get her a drink and snack. Bring her your special home cooking, Mom's food, her favorite comfort food.
  

• SUPPORT: Feeling supported is really important to a new mother. The lack of sleep and the huge life changes that she will be experiencing with her new baby mean that she will be feeling quite vulnerable at times. The way you react and act with her will make a difference to how she feels.  

• LISTEN: Be a listening ear - new parents often have many frustrations and worries to cope with.  Listen with interest without necessarily giving advice or answers. It is tempting to want to offer advice, but sometimes simply listening can be the best help you can give. Be sensitive to her needs and don't make assumptions - talk to her and ask her what she would prefer, rather than voicing your assumptions.  Never ask questions like "how do you know whether the baby is getting enough milk".  She may start doubting herself and worry unnecessarily.  

• AFFIRM: Say positive things and let your daughter/in-law know that she is doing well, especially during the first few weeks.  Give her a hug and tell her that motherhood is the hardest job in the world.  Tell her that she is doing a fabulous job.  Encourage her if the going gets tough and remind her of the things that she is doing right for her baby.  

• RELIEVE: Encourage mom to take daytime rests or naps. Offer to change baby's diaper, bathe, or cuddle the baby.  Offer to take the baby for a short walk, if appropriate. 

Some Things are Just Not Helpful

• RECOUNTING HORROR STORIES or relating your own negative experiences - these types of stories do not help build her confidence.  If she tells you she is struggling, then gently suggest that she seeks help. Consider giving her a gift certificate for a consultation with one of our consultants.

• MAKING NEGATIVE COMMENTS such as, ‘you're not still breastfeeding that baby are you?' or ‘surely he's old enough to stop breastfeeding now.'   Be supportive of her decision to breastfeed for as long as she and the baby want. 

• ASSUMING THAT SHE WILL WANT TO BE ALONE in private to feed her baby.  Most women hate being locked away on their own.  She will probably want to chat and talk with you as normal. 

• ASKING QUESTIONS such as, ‘when are going to give up breastfeeding and regain your body?'  Support her in her decision to breastfeed for as long as she wants to. 

Breastfeeding Facts to Know

• BREASTFEEDING SHOULD NOT HURT.  Although there is often some transitory soreness during the first week.  Incorrect attachment (latch) of the baby is the most likely cause of sore cracked nipples rather than the frequency or length of feeds.  Should your daughter/in-law find breastfeeding painful, encourage her to seek help and advice from a breastfeeding counselor.  

• NIGHT-TIME FEEDING IS IMPORTANT in establishing a good supply of breast milk.  Moms are encouraged to keep their babies with them both day and night. Feeding on demand both day and night is important for the baby's well-neing and growth. Breastmilk digest quickly, which is one of the reasons that babies need to feed frequently. Waking and feeding frequently helps to keep the baby from going into too deep a sleep.  This likely plays a crucial role in decreasing the incidence of sudden infant death (SIDS).

• BREASTMILK IS EASILY DIGESTED so babies need frequent feeding, often 8 - 14 times a day.  Some feed more, some less.  The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends nursing a newborn whenever he/she shows signs of hunger such as increased alertness or activity, mouthing or rooting around for the mom's nipple.  

• A MOTHER'S BODY ADJUSTS to the amount of milk available so that her supply matches what her baby demands. Every feeding stimulates the body to make enough for the next feed.  It is best to start feeding an infant before he/she begins crying.

Grandmothers ©2008 Madeline Browning