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Breastfeeding: One Baby's Choice

  
  
  
  
  
baby led latching, breastfeeding, kangaroo mother care

Many women decide to breastfeed before they become pregnant, while others decide during pregnancy as they hear more about the benefits, but most have made up their mind before they deliver. Today I worked with a lovely mother and five day old baby who had always known she would breastfeed. But sometimes the decision catches one by surprise.

One of the most beautiful deliveries I have ever been a part of involved a young woman that had made it clear that she would be formula feeding. As her nurse, I respected her wishes. I always placed the baby on mother's chest after delivery for that important skin to skin time. And so when the baby was born, I put him on mom's chest.

Babies like to spend 30-40 minutes gazing into mom's face right after delivery. They are memorizing their mother's beautiful face that goes along with the voice they have listened to for many months. This reminds me of Christopher Robin and Winnie the Pooh.

Christopher Robin looked long and hard at Pooh's face...

"Are you learning me by heart?" asked Pooh.

"No," he answered, " I know you by heart;

you are inside my heart."

A.A. Milne

This baby after some time began to root towards mom's nipple. She was astonished and watched with amazement. The baby continued in his quest and latched on with no assistance. "Wow!" shouted the new mom. She was so shocked and delighted she just let him continue. "I guess I'm breastfeeding," she announced.

And breastfeed she did. I happened to see her many months later when she came up to the maternity floor to show us her big boy. She was still breastfeeding. Who would have known that this mother was afraid of failing at breastfeeding and therefore had not even wanted to give it a try. She was so thankful for that historic moment that changed her and her baby's lives forever. Babies, when given  the chance, bring out the natural instincts of their mothers. Let's hope that more mothers experience skin to skin time in the delivery room and find themselves delighting in their baby's instinct to breastfeed.

"While breastfeeding may not seem the right choice for very parent, it is the best choice for every baby."

Amy Spangler 

When did you decide to breastfeed? 

 

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COMMENTS

Wonderful story!

posted @ Thursday, June 24, 2010 4:20 PM by Jenn


I love this story. It has happened more than once I bet.

posted @ Thursday, June 24, 2010 7:30 PM by Darlene


I never even considered formula feeding... =)

posted @ Thursday, June 24, 2010 7:41 PM by SaM


I never even thought about formula feeding. Nursing was just...it.  
 
 
 
It makes me very sad that a new mom could be so scared as to not even try. :( We are ruining ourselves.

posted @ Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:23 PM by Guggie


Everyone in my family nursed, and though I have no real memory of it being weird or noticeable my aunt nursed her youngest until 18 months (I was about 10 so I should have memories if it seemed odd). 
 
Strangely enough everyone in my family also spoon fed baby food and that I always seemed wrong to me. So when I discovered baby-led weaning I never thought about "baby food" again, and it was a big weight off my mind. 
 
And I had a hellish time with my first due to a transfer to a non-homebirth friendly hospital. I left hospital after 5 days with a non-nursing baby and a hospital grade pump and lots of little medicine cups(to cup feed) and urine sample containers (for breastmilk storage so I wouldn't have to wash things) 
 
From nipple shields, to clamping down (worse than biting FYI), from barely enough milk to ridiculous engorgement, only being able to nurse sitting on a couch with at least three pillows, and no sleep, and pain, and as I found out later a baby with reflux, and a gazillion other things (not to mention CPS *sigh*) I never even thought about giving up.  
 
And 4 and a half years, and a pregnancy later I'm nursing a 4 and a half year old and two and a half year old. My second, born at home, allowed to self-latch has never had a problem nursing until recently (he's being lazy)

posted @ Thursday, June 24, 2010 9:59 PM by mystic_eye


That was a great experience that I will share with my breastfeeding classes at WIC

posted @ Wednesday, August 18, 2010 7:45 by Kim Griffin


I had a very similar experience at work a couple months ago. The new mom was sure whe wouldn't breast feed, as all her friends had told her how painful it would be! She was a young momma, 17 y/o I believe. I told her of my own "young Momma" experience, and it did hurt, for just a little while. after a few conversations, and 1and 1/2 days of formula, she agreed to give it a try. Baby took right to the breast like a pro, and the new momma couldn't have been prouder! She'd announce to all her visitors her success and kept saying, "and it doesn't even hurt!"

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 10:20 by Karen


Great story! My 3 have never had a drop of formula. First 2 nursed until almost 2, and the current almost 2 year old still loves to nurse often. I never considered formula. It makes no sense to me to pay for nasty, dead "food" to feed my precious baby when I can give them perfect, living food that's always ready when they are. In our crazy world, the normal is often considered abnormal. Mammals are designed to breastfeed. You don't see any other mammal species giving their babies formula!

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 12:33 PM by Christy


I never "decided" to breastfeed. It's the natural thing to do. If for some reason it hadn't worked out, I would have decided to give formula, but when it comes to what is natural, it just seems strange to me that there is a choice to be made.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 1:39 PM by Emma


Very sweet story! But I still think BF moms look down on us formula feeding moms and it drives me crazy! First I wasn't allowed to hold my baby for many hours after she was born, first because of her problems but then because of my emergency problems that happened. I didn't get that bond right away. Also I couldn't breastfeed with all the meds I had to be on, so we were a proud formula feeding family. We bonded when we gave her the bottle, stopped what we were doing, went back in her room in the rocker and fed her. It was great. She is now 3 and incredibly smart, actually extremely advanced for her age. She has never been sick but maybe one cold, except she was born with bladder defects that we deal with on a daily basis. I don't judge any other moms and it really hurts mey feelings when the BF moms judge the crap out of us moms that don't do it. I'm sorry I just had to to say all of that. I just wish people would take the time time and realize we cant all BF and give us a little credit and don't act like we are hurting our babies because of it.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 4:19 PM by Dayna


Awww what a sweet story! Thank you for sharing.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 4:27 PM by Crystal - Prenatal Coach


Absolutely love this! Chills and tears. 
 
Steph

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 4:39 PM by Adventures In Babywearing


Dayna- You said that you just HAD to say all of that. My question for you is, why? If you're so proud of and confident in your decision to formula feed, why did you feel the need to justify it to a group of strangers on the internet especially? The article did not say one single negative thing about formula and the author even specifically stated that she was respectful of the mother's initial desire to formula feed. She didn't force breastfeeding on the mother or the baby, the baby made his way to the breast on his own. 
 
That's great that your daughter is healthy and advanced- please point out where in the article the author said, "Thank goodness this baby latched on or else he might have turned out sickly and stupid!" It seems to me that maybe you aren't as confident in your decision as you claim to be and it's causing you to feel like you're being attacked when you aren't. 
 
FYI, sharing positive stories and information about breastfeeding isn't an attack on formula or formula feeding parents. You, on the other hand, just attacked breastfeeding moms by assume that we are all judging you and looking down on you for your decision.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 5:59 PM by Sarah


Babies, when given the chance, bring out the natural instincts of their mothers 
 
I think that is just SO TRUE. It's what has informed every part of our parenting so far - not by choice - but it is how my daughter has led us. It's been amazing.  
 
I don't really remember what I thought about breastfeeding before - I don't think I even really knew how, despite having been to the antinatal classes! 
 
But a home water birth meant my daughter rooted and latched and that was the end of that.  
 
But I had fantastic support and would probably have given up at six days and six weeks and three months and so on if I hadn't been highly informed (about on demand milk production/growthspurts/etc) and supported.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 6:04 PM by Luschka


This is such a beautiful story, just recently I saw a video study of babies latching on naturally and the difference between when women are given epidurals and when they aren't, and when they are laid on the the mother in the beginning and when they aren't. Also at dyna, no one was attacking women who have to bottle fed them, to me it's more the women who can but don't want to, because they think it's gross(my friend used to but now has crossed over), and I too am glad that you and your baby were able to bond and that she is healthy :D

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 6:42 PM by Bonnie


I decided long before i had children that i was going to breastfeed. In fact, i would breastfeed my dolls right beside my mom while she fed the baby of the family. Having a mom that taught me the importance of breastfeeding and how natural it is, was wonderful. I didnt even have to make a choice weather or not to breastfeed when i started to have children because it was so natural for me. I am soo glad my mom breastfed in front of me and taught me about it, because if she hadnt, i would have quit trying to breastfeed my first due to invirted nipples, cracking and bleeding that i had to deal with for over 2 months. I knew that the pain was nothing compared to what i was giving my baby.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 10:49 PM by Aparker


No it had nothing to do with the article, its about the other peoples responses. The comment like this "I never considered formula. It makes no sense to me to pay for nasty, dead "food" to feed my precious baby when I can give them perfect, living food that's always ready when they are." 
 
 
 
So I fed my baby nasty dead food? I dont think so. My whole point is a lot of BF moms look down on us like how in the world can we not BF too? I just wish they would take a look at what others do and its ok instead of always bashing formula. I have the most respect for BF moms and would never judge them for their choices. Once again I wasnt talking about the article but there has been many times that BF moms talk about how much smarter and healthier their babies are, thats the only reason I said that. Im very confident in my choice thats why I defend it so much. I just wanted to state my opinion thats all, no not all BF moms are judgemental but just look how they talk about it like its the only way to feed your baby. Im sorry its not.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 10:53 PM by Dayna


Dayna, It sounds like you planned to breastfeed but nothing went right from the start. Instead of bashing you, I would like to congratulate you for surviving what must have been a very difficult time. It seems you are still grieving the loss of breastfeeding your baby. I admit that it is easy to be judgemental but your post is a reminder that many formula feeding moms are not doing so by choice.

posted @ Monday, September 27, 2010 11:43 PM by Heather Sharp


Nope I never planned to breastfeed her, I knew I couldnt. So I went straight into it knowing she would be bottle fed and my whole family was very accepting of that. You just dont get that support in other places. So no Im not grieving breastfeeding at all. I did do it by choice but what was I saying is that If I wanted to I wouldnt have been able to at all anyway. But no I went into my pregnancy knowing I wasnt going to BF and was perfectly fine knowing that and I will always stand by my decision no matter what.

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:46 by Dayna


What a lovely story! Babies know their own mind :)

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 6:11 by Loving Yoyr Child


Breastfeeding is a great thing, but I' m always sad to see comments that put down the alternatives. Some of these comments are so condescending, no wonder mothers have so much guilt if they can't breastfeed or it doesn't work out for them. Yes, breastfeeding does hurt some of us, and it doesn't go away. After breastfeeding 4 kids myself and having frequent pain, mastitis etc. it really tainted my baby experience. I think I would have enjoyed my babies more if I wasn't in so much pain physically and emotionally. That said, I never had colicky babies or feeding problems with the infant themselves so I dealt with my own pain hoping that the infants would benefit, but it was definitely a hard trade off. Let's not be so judgmental. We are all moms that want what is best for our babies.

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 8:44 by Britt


Britt, thank you! You just said it in a more nice way. Im sorry that I have been looked down upon so much and thats why I get so defensive. I truly believe to each their own and would never judge another Mother. I just feel our side gets judged way to much.

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 10:02 by Dayna


I managed to BF successfully (all 4 times) but I had a girlfriend who, at the same time, couldn't. She felt like a failure, mostly due to the insensitive comments from other BF moms (not me).  
 
I learned very young that you never know the entire story of someone's life - so please be careful not to cast such a wide net of judgement against non-BF moms.  
 
I am sure that each one of us are doing our very best to raise our children to be successful human beings, that is what needs to be talked about. We should be celebrating that together, instead of drawing lines in the sand.

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 1:25 PM by Shash


I figured I would 'try' breastfeeding. When my son was placed in the NICU pumping was the only thing I could do for him.  
 
I was not even allowed to touch him, I became all about breastfeeding. I am happy to say my daughter is six months exclusively breastfed and I am working full time as a teacher. 
 
For me personally I have other things to do than to judge another mom, I am just proud of my efforts. 
 

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 2:53 PM by Jenn


It seems that people are divided between breastfeeding and store-bought formula feeding, but there's a third way: if you're unable to breastfeed, you might be interested in making your own formula. There are many recipes out there, and you will have control over what goes into it. I will personally make my own baby formula if I'm unable to breastfeed; it's just hard for me to trust the big companies, and I like the idea of my baby eating something that's still made by me :)

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 3:46 PM by Leilani


I never decided to breastfeed. I formula fed both my kids. Strictly by choice. No medical concerns or inability. i just did not want to breastfeed. babies were all healthy and happy. They are now 22 and 20, and still have never been to a Dr or had anything more than minor colds or flus. 
 
I say do what works fo you, and don't feel bad about your choices. Whatever you decide or choose to do.

posted @ Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:25 PM by Michele


I never understood why FF moms come to sites and facebook pages dedicated to breastfeeding and start debates. Especially when the article has nothing to do with FF at all.  
 
Is it that these Moms are just arguementative? Or, do they have guilt that they aren't fessing up to. I don't care if you "planned" to FF from the beginning. If you're so confident about your decision, why argue and complain that you're being judged?

posted @ Wednesday, September 29, 2010 9:24 by Steph


My choice with my 1st 3 kids had always been to breastfeed for as long as I can before they were delivered, but I always gave up after the first week cos I had bleeding and cracked nipples causing me to switch to formula. However, my 1st one who had the least of breast milk has asthma and so does my second one but hers is better managed as she had breast milk for a longer period of time. I just delivered my 4th one and has been strongly recommended to breastfeed for as long as I can so that she can benefit for better immunity. My first week was not a smooth ride and I almost give up because of sore nipples but I pulled through by applying nipple cream every morning and night until milk finally came in. Now, I have fully breastfed her for a full 4 weeks and hope to continue for much, much longer.

posted @ Monday, November 08, 2010 9:10 PM by Rahayu


Hello Debbie, 
 
I am a Lactation Consultant at an 
 
inner city hospital in Toronto. I am trying to develop an information 
 
sheet on skin to skin for new or expectant mums. Could I have your 
 
permission to use the picture shown in this article? 
 
Thanks 
 
Kathy Jay

posted @ Wednesday, January 05, 2011 12:28 PM by Kathy Jay


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