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Newborn Baby: Saying "Yes" to Sex After Baby


It's no secret that most woman (not all) would rather have a root canal than have sex after giving birth to a new baby. Moms are tired, boobs are leaking, her belly feels rather squishy, and not all things feel the same. Like her girl parts. And so her "sex esteem" is rather low at this point. Never mind the fact that the baby is attached to her most of the time, and she feels wrung out by the end of the day.

sex after baby

Poor Momma! What she needs is some understanding. Some alone time. Maybe a massage. And a romp in the hay. Yup, good old fashioned "nooky". But, but...

I know, I hear you. I do. But, you need it. It's good for you like taking vitamins is good for you. Or exercise. You don't always want to, but boy, you feel so much better after. Nothing like some oxytocin running through your veins to decrease stress and bring on some bodily healing. And better sleep. Yes, oxytocin does that too.

Now, this by no means is pressure for someone who has not fully healed, or is struggling with this in any way. It's for the rest of us who just don't want to. Who responds with "What the heck are ya thinking?", when approached by our man. Who when we go to our six week postpartum check-up, asks for a doctor's note for another six weeks off sex "duty".

Sound familiar anyone? Hmm, thought so. I get ya. So, how do we get started when it's the last thing on the list?

1. Well, for starters, bring it up a few lines on your list.

2. Take some time for yourself first. A hot bath complete with bubbles, candles, a magazine.

3. Think K-Y Jelly.

4. Take it slow. Remember, you may not respond so well at first. Totally normal. Just relax, no pressure. Maybe for now, just enjoy being alone with your main squeeze.

5. He doesn't care about how your body looks right now, he just wants to enjoy it.

6. If you nursing breasts start to leak, try to laugh. It is actually funny!

7. Remember that being sexy is a state of mind, a smile or caress. And when asked, is a response that sounds something like  "yes!"


With love and total understanding (remember, 5 babies),

Nicole Glover


Very good article Nicole. From a man's perspective this whole process is often very hard for us, since it's quite likely that for several months leading up to the actual delivery we have also been "shut-off". If I may be so bold -- we men just absolutely love the "nursing breasts"! 
If my comments are too brazen please let me know, thanks Nicole. :)
Posted @ Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:29 AM by Roy Christoph
This is so so true! It did help DH and I reconnect after both of our births. For us, it is my husband who is not into sex towards the end of pregnancy.  
It doesn't have to be difficult to get back in the saddle. With my first child (a CS), I wasn't interested for months and only grudgingly put out for a while. After my 2nd (VBAC), it took about 3 weeks and have been having sex much more regularly. In my experience, at 9 months PP, sex is better now than it ever has been.
Posted @ Wednesday, February 23, 2011 3:10 PM by Catherine S
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